Virginia Tech Massacre: an educator's view

I have avoided writing since I got news of the Virginia Tech tragedy because I simply don't know how to react. I have probably seemed somewhat callous to others, but I think the reality of it is just too horrible and frightening for me to properly acknowledge. My sense of loss for that community, although I did not know them personally, is great and I cannot- or choose not to- imagine the pain that will permeate that campus for a long time to come.

However, and this does not at all diminish my sorrow for the victims, I cannot help but also be acutely stricken by the pain of the shooter. I suspected from the moment I heard of the news that the man would eventually reveal his motivation as those same feelings of isolation and rejection that are most often associated with the Columbine tragedy, but are doubtless shared with others who have struck out violently against society. While I obviously do not condone any such action in any way, I grieve also for a person whose pain was so severe that he felt the need to inflict the same on others in such an extreme way. How can one person feel so enraged? So alone that this reaction is the only option, and in his mind, the correct solution?

As a teacher, especially in a more urban setting, I am often asked if I am afraid of violence in schools. I can honestly say that I am not really afraid of fights, or guns, or knives, or bombs. This is what I fear most: that as an educator, I have not done enough. That I have not shown every single one of my students that I care about them as a whole person, not letter grades or percentages. That I have not made it clear that they matter to me because there is something inside of them that is worth caring about. That I have not taught them that there is a place for everyone.

That they know they are not alone.